Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
