just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
