we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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