She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
