Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
