I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
