Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
