if you like me you must not know who I am
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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