1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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