I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
