At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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