I bet he comes in French.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
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