It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
