so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
