You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize