Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
