Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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