I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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