I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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