I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
