I'm going to jail i love you
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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