it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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