you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
