OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
