my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
