All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
