theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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