Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
