Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
