I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
