Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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