I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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