I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
