you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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