So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
