i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
