is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
