so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
