Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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