You smell like stripper and shame
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
