these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
