yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
