i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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