can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
