I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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