worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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