It's Friday. Sex?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
