After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
