Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
