guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
did you just send me my own nude
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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