your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
