the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize