just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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