She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize