you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
