do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She's the barista slut.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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