My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
