I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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