did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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