If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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