I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
