I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
