My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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