i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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