What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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