i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
