Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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