If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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