Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
