i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
