Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
